Latest News

Senator Warren Appointed Secretary of Native American Affairs

Super Happy Fun America is excited to announce that Senator Elizabeth Warren is our new Secretary of Native American Affairs.  As a straight woman of Cherokee ancestry, Warren has overcome the intersection of multiple sources of oppression to become a contender for the Democratic party’s presidential nominee.  She has had success as a real estate developer profiting on buying and selling foreclosed properties and was deemed one of Harvard University’s most esteemed minority professors.  

Senator Warren has the unique opportunity to demonstrate her commitment to diversity and tolerance by speaking at the Boston Straight Pride Parade.  We can’t wait to see her high cheek bones in person and maybe have a drink with this connoisseur of beer.  The straight community and our allies appreciate her support.

MEDIA CREDENTIALS REQUEST DEADLINE IS August 26th

Super Happy Fun America is asking media organizations to submit their request credentials for the Boston Straight Pride Parade by Monday, August 26th, 5 PM Eastern Standard Time.  Media credentials will permit visiting photographers, videographers, reporters, and other media personnel to follow along with us for the duration of the parade and gain access to controlled areas at City Hall Plaza.  Please use the form below:

https://www.superhappyfunamerica.com/request-media-credentials/

In order to accommodate as many as possible and ensure the event remains happy and fun, it is necessary for us know who is coming.   We are being deluged with media requests due to our immense popularity and must allow adequate time to process them all.  Thank you for your cooperation and we look forward to your participation.

COSPLAY CONTEST ANNOUNCEMENT

Super Happy Fun America is happy to announce that our first annual Straight Pride Parade in Boston will feature a cosplay contest to promote fun and tolerance.

Come to the Straight Pride Parade on August 31st dressed up as a character from your favorite video games, movies, comics, shows, anime, or original character.

There will be a $100 giftcard prize for the best individual cosplay, and a double prize for the best straight-couple cosplay.

Representative Clark Invited to Speak

Super Happy Fun America is officially inviting Congresswoman Katherine Clark to speak at the Straight Pride Parade in Boston on August 31. 

Congresswoman Clark refused to debate John Hugo, SHFA’s President, during their congressional race last year.  Although she eschewed taking part in the long held American tradition of accountability through debate, we understand that as a very important person she likely considers such matters beneath her.  Therefore, we have decided to reach out to her with love in our hearts and extend an olive branch by inviting her to participate in our humble parade.  We are confident that in the spirit of bipartisanship and inclusivity, Congresswoman Clark will not miss this opportunity to speak to her straight constituents.

Dr. Nace to Speak At Straight Pride Parade

Super Happy Fun America is excited to welcome Dr. Felecia Nace as a speaker at the Boston Straight Pride Parade on August 31st.  Dr. Nace is an advocate for the rights of children. She promotes maintaining elementary and high schools that are free of adult sexual topics such as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer / questioning.  She is quoted as saying:

Let’s not put adult issues into public school systems. It’s time to simply teach children about good citizenship and how to live and work systemically in our society. These are lifelong lessons that ensure children can coexist with all people in a productive way. The overload of adult topics that are finding their way into school curriculums in the U.S.,  strip children of the wonderment of childhood and their innocence.”

Dr. Nace is the author of Top-Down Confusion: Is gray the new pink in education?.  She has been appointed as the Science Advisor of Super Happy Fun America.  She will chair the organization’s Science Advisory Board.  To apply for a position on the board, send a resume to info@superhappyfunamerica.com.

Trump unity bridge coming to parade

Super Happy Fun America announces that the Trump Unity Bridge is coming to the Boston Straight Pride Parade on August 31st.  The parade’s Grand Marshal, Milo Yiannopoulos, will ride on the bridge as he bestows happiness and fun upon city’s populace.   

Please visit the Trump Unity Bridge website in order to learn more about this tribute to America’s President or to donate to the tour.

 

PayPal Hates Straights

Super Happy Fun America received an email from PayPal on July 29, 2019 notifying us that our account had been permanently limited.  This means that we can no longer use PayPal to collect donations. In the same manner as other corporations, they accused us of violating their “Acceptable Use Policy” without citing any violation.  In fact, they didn’t even bother to fill in the space on their template.  This is an act of cowardice likely designed to avoid a lawsuit by not having a reason on record.  We will prove them wrong!

PayPal is just the latest corporation to cancel or suspend Super Happy Fun America’s accounts.  BlueHost suspended our website.  Patreon and Constant Contact both cancelled our accounts.  Super Happy Fun America is a civil rights organization advocating on behalf of the straight community.  Massachusetts General Law c.272, s.98 prohibits discrimination based upon sexual orientation.  Other states have similar laws.  Super Happy Fun America will hold global corporations to account for their hate against our community. 

After Netflix attacked Super Happy America and straights two weeks ago their stock plummeted. If corporations think that they can get away with heterophobia then they better think again.

 

New Speakers Added

Super Happy Fun America announces two new speakers and musical talent for Boston Straight Pride Parade.  

Teresa Stephens Richenberger is Founder / Director of Rahab’s Retreat and Ranch in Kilgore, TX., and will be a speaker at the parade.  The organization is a voluntary, faith based program that helps victims of sex trafficking.  Teresa is also the newly appointed spiritual adviser of Super Happy Fun America.  Please give her a YUGE welcome!

Enrique Tarrio, chairman of the Proud Boys International, will also speak at the parade.  He is heavily censored on social media and Chase Bank cancelled his account for exercising his first Amendment rights.  Not coincidentally, JP Morgan Chase also tried to censor Super Happy Fun America by having our website removed from Bluehost.

 G. Notes Justice is changing planet Earth for the better by busting tunes.  He wrote the official Super Happy Fun America rap, Straight Pride, which he will perform live at the parade.

Super Happy Fun America is proving the heterophobes wrong.  It’s great to be straight so save the date and don’t forget to donate.

Corporations That Hate The Straight

Super Happy Fun America reached out to companies to ask them to sponsor the Boston Straight Pride Parade.  Our offer was based upon their reputations as being progressive and their known support of parades for other orientations.  However, rather than show their support for equality and inclusivity, we received hateful and heterophobic emails, threats against our 1st amendment rights, and attempts to take down our website.  Other companies featured here cancelled our accounts. 

The responses from global corporations effectively demonstrate the serious need for our civil rights movement is needed now more than ever!  We will not be intimidated by their threats against our happiness and fun.  Straights are a legitimate sexual orientation and we demand the same rights as everyone else.  The Straight Pride parade is enormously popular and we call on all freedom loving patriots to join us on August 31st .  The door is always open for sponsorships from companies who recognize the value of our civil-rights movement, and we encourage others to get involved.

We have summarized and included the emails below.

LYFT

Super Happy Fun America received a letter from Lyft labelled “Cease and Desist” with a demand to “immediately remove the Lyft name, logo, and branding from your regrettable website”.  It appears that Lyft is yet another heterophobic global corporation.  We believe that there is nothing “regrettable” about advocating for equal rights for straights as we celebrate our community’s diverse history, culture, and identity.

It is ironic that in their letter to SHFA, Lyft claims to have “strongly held values of equality, inclusivity, and acceptance.”  If they really believed in those values, then they would embrace equality by supporting all sexual orientations.  They would embrace inclusivity by adding an ‘S’ for straight to ‘LGBTQ’ and they would accept straights as equals.

 

Trip Advisor

TripAdvisor is a sponsor of a parade in Boston for other sexual orientations but apparently they don’t think straights deserve a parade as well.  Not only that, but they decided to emphasize the point by riddling the letter with homages to the other orientations. 

TripAdvisor was so proud of what they had done that they immediately ran to the media to tell them about it.  TripAdvisor spokesman Brian Hoyt said the company’s lawyers spent “all night” crafting the reference-laden response.  Come on.  Not even we believe it took them all night to draft that.  They also said we owe the “LGBTQ+” community an apology for daring to have our own parade.  We assume that the business of the straight community is no longer welcome at TripAdvisor.

PS – Their logo and name still appears on this site (see image) because we won’t be intimidated by their hate.  We have a legal right to use it for informational purposes. 

Netflix

Sadly, we have learned that Netflix is a heterophobic company steeped in hatred and bigotry.  They not only rejected our offer but threatened us with litigation if we did not stop using their name and logo, which is perfectly legal for editorial or informational purposes. 

Netflix labelled us bullies and declared that their legal department “is here, it’s queer, and it’s telling you to steer clear.”  Obviously, Netflix has no qualms about using their position of power to threaten marginalized groups who are exercising their 1st amendment rights.  It appears that their legal department is staffed by gay supremacists who are so accustomed to privilege that our goal of equality for straights feels like oppression to them.  In fact, it is Netflix that is acting like a bully.  

After Netflix’s heterophobic response we were inundated with messages from people who were cancelling their subscriptions.  Subsequently Netflix’s stock tanked.  Don’t mess with the Straight!

 

ben & jerry's

Ben & Jerry’s is well known for being supportive of some sexual orientations.  But when it comes to straights they won’t even consider it.  “Please be advised, if you were to ask Ben & Jerry’s Foundation for a sponsorship, we would decline”.  

JP MOrgan Chase and bluehost

We noticed on July 10th that our outgoing email was not getting sent to the recipients.  We opened a case with Bluehost technical support.  They claimed that the problem was due to our email server having been placed on 2 blacklists.  However, we could find no evidence to support this claim and are left wondering exactly what caused the problem.  Further, due to our website problems, we are unable to receive email at this time.

Rather than contacting SHFA to let us know they weren’t interested in sponsoring the parade, JP Morgan Chase moved to take down our website.  They sent Bluehost a message claiming we had infringed on their trademark.  Although we can use a trademark for informational purposes, Bluehost then informed us that we could not even mention JP Morgan and a few hours later, before we could respond, suspended our website.  This is a clear infringement upon our freedom of speech.  

 

Gillette, tumblr, Yelp, bank of america, grubhub

All of these companies threatened us with litigation simply for using their trademarks legally for informational purposes.  

patreon

Patreon suspended our account because Milo is our grand marshal.  While Milo is not a Proud Boy, he is “affiliated” with them, and since we are “affiliated” with Milo, they claim this is a violation of their community standards.  However, fundraisers by Antifa (short for Antifun) are just fine with them.