suspicious packages

On Monday, July 1st, 2019, three members of the Super Happy Fun America leadership team: President John Hugo, Vice President Mark Sahady, and Grassroots Organizer Samson Racioppi, each found suspicious packages at their respective homes. Police were contacted immediately.  Fortunately, we have been informed by the authorities that the packages contained no explosive devices or dangerous substances. We are told they found glitter and vague ominous letters.  The intended message, however, is completely clear. The sender wants Super Happy Fun America to know: We know where you live, and your families are within our reach.

We believe this to be the action of domestic terrorists, like those who attacked independent journalist Andy Ngo in Portland. These extremely grumpy bigots collectively call themselves Antifa, which stands for Anti-fun, as they despise all fun and happiness. They are a notoriously heterophobic SHFA-designated hate-group.  Another group that does not think Antifa’s antics are fun is the FBI.  Perhaps they will be meeting soon.

These latest threats against Super Happy Fun America are obviously being made in response to our planned Straight Pride Parade to be held in Boston on August 31st. This serves as further proof of our sincerely held belief that Straight people are an oppressed majority. Anti-fun and other heterophobes are dead set on suppressing the ability of straights to freely express themselves as a legitimate sexual orientation and proud members of the LGBTS (S is for Straight) Community.

The cowardly threats against our parade organizers and their families will not deter us from advocating for Straight acceptance, nor will it dissuade us from continuing forward with our Straight Pride Parade in Boston on August 31st, 2019. 

28 thoughts on “suspicious packages”

  1. You guys are doing a great thing. i think people in this country are really being influenced by all the non healthy irregular relationship ideas that exist. Keep up the good work for helping to normalize the thought process towards relationships!

  2. It’s so worrying to see heterophobia is still rampant in our western societies.
    It’s 2019, but straight acceptance clearly still has a long way to go.

    Thank you for being a voice for our marginalized community, and Godspeed in making the Straight Pride Parade a big success!

  3. Just so you know nithing wrong to want a pride for straights. But you know the real reason why lgbt have Pride? Its because of the fights they had to put up with, the supression, the discrimination. Straight people have always had it good so i mean it makes no sense

  4. I think I got stupider just reading this. I may have actually seen my brain with the amount of eye rolling I did.

    How absolutely ridiculous you all are. And I am straight.

    We are NOT “oppressed”, nor are we NOT allowed to have fun (unless you call being a d-bag, gay-basher “fun”). We have NEVER been tortured, oppressed, abused or cast out for being straight, unlike many LGBT+ people.

    These are NOT threats. Being threatened with death or rape – now that is something you should be worried about! A glitter bomb? PUH-LEEEEEZE

    For the love of God, give it a freakin’ rest.

    1. Honestly though. In my opinion, “oppressed” and “majority” can not me next to each other in the same sentence. LGBTQIA+ Pride events welcome people of all orientations, including straight people. I am 99% sure that the “Straight Pride” parade will exclude the queer community. Also, there is NO discrimination towards straight people. Us queer people are just fighting for our rights in a straight dominated world, where straights are the default and can do anything they want. We don’t hate you, we just want one month where we can openly express ourselves without the fear of straight homophobia, biphobia and other queer oppression. There is no such thing as heterophobia, and I hope that you realize that you are not subjected to bigotry from anyone. I sincerely hope that this whole website and all of your “pride” is a joke.

      1. *lgbtqiaS+

        Be more inclusive next time. In fact, since there are more straight people, the order you should use is this: Slgbtqia+

        You’re welcome.

        > I am 99% sure that the “Straight Pride” parade will exclude the queer community.

        They are explicitly invited. Heck, members or SHFA are gay. AND they use Milo as their Grand Marshall. You’re projecting your own intolerance onto others. Seek help.

        > Also, there is NO discrimination towards straight people.

        This is what oppressors always say about the oppressed. Are you denying the lived experiences of straight people? Want me to do the same? “There’s NO DISCRIMINATION towards homosicksuals.” See how that feels? Enjoyed that? Want more? For someone claming to be oppressed, you sure are fast to dish out bigotry and hatred. You should know better.

        > straight dominated world

        A world dominated by NORMAL people who aren’t evolutionary dead-ends, you mean? People without your disorder?

        > We don’t hate you, we just want one month where we can openly express ourselves without the fear of straight homophobia, biphobia and other queer oppression.

        We don’t hate you, we just want one month where we can openly express ourselves without the fear of gay heterophobia, gay homophobia, gay biphobia and other queer and straight oppression by gays.

        > There is no such thing as heterophobia

        Said the heterophobe.

        > I hope that you realize that you are not subjected to bigotry from anyone

        Or else? Will you dial up your bigotry more if we refuse to accept your flimsy and transparent attempts at GASLIGHTING us, you heterophobic bigot?

        > I sincerely hope that this whole website and all of your “pride” is a joke.

        Even if. The parade is happening. Lots of straights and their gay allies will be there. And there’s nothing you can do about it.

        It’s high-time we drag intolerant bigots like you into the 21st century, even when you’re kicking and screaming.

  5. Hey just a suggestion, guys (I expect almost all of you are guys) — the packages you received shoudn’t have been sent, you’re right to describe them as suspicious, but you’re taking it too far to call those who sent them to you “domestic terrorists.” Really, it’s a bad joke, even in these days of potential threats you feel you may face from groups like Antifa, there isn’t anything publicly known anyway about the packages or the “ominous” letters as described in the press (and not described, unfortunately, here) that could be reasonably thought to have come from “domestic terrorists.” And hey, if you DO really think they came from “terrorists” what makes you so sure they are domestic? The freaking postmark? Take it from a 60s radical who was of a generation that understood a good prank/prankster/yippie guerilla theater action, call what they did a bad, bad joke that in today’s hypersensitive, hypermonitored world comes across a lot worse than the senders may have intended it to. And get back to making people laugh and trying to take back, at least for yourselves and your group, that word “gay” (I guess that’s why your group is called what it is, right?). And don’t be afraid to fire Milo if he gives you any opportunity to do so either, ok? It’ll do wonders for your movement cred.

    1. Im pretty sure they didnt find out what was in it until the news announced it, no one on scene told them what was inside. So yes, before they knew what was in it – it was just a suspicious package directed at 3 people receiving threats on the daily – I bet it sure as hell felt like terrorism. How about you all try to put yourselves in their shoes and ask questions, instead of making assumptions (many of which lead to hateful and sometimes threats).

      1. ^^^ We had no clue what was in the envelopes at the time. They had no return address, were taped up tightly, and had an unknown substance on the inside. The police shut down my neighborhood, and the FBI Weapons of Mass Destruction team came out. It was only afterwards that we found out that the envelopes contained glitter..

        The media, always reporting the truth (sarcasm,) ensured the story was portrayed as if we knew they contained glitter AND THEN called the police. That couldn’t be further from the truth, of course, but that’s who we’re up against.

  6. Dear Superhappyfunamericans,
    Thanks to your glitterati status I have discovered the wonderful site and used their services to send my regards to the special-ed director who denied my autistic, and dyslexic son an aide and generally sent him through academic limbo. Our entire hetero family spent the whole evening laughing together in joyous harmony. So once more thank you superhappyfunamericans.

  7. Glitter bombs are jokes as is your entire movement. You guys must be absolutely starved for attention and have egos the size of the city. People have been and still are being murdered for being LGBTQ and you bunch of self centered bigots feel the need to make light of that fact. No one in the history of mankind has ever been oppressed for being a straight white male, no one. Learn to spread some compassion instead of ignorance and bigotry.

    1. > No one in the history of mankind has ever been oppressed for being a straight white male

      Ask James Damore. And also everyone who didn’t get hired just because they’re not ‘diverse’ enough. Also ask yourself how many universities discriminate against Whites (and even more so: Asians), requiring them to score far higher SAT scores to gain admission, compared to black (and hispanic) people who otherwise couldn’t compete.

      And yet, despite all the mistreatment we receive (from entitled bigots like yourself), whites still manage to create comparatively peaceful and tolerant societies. We just can’t help ourselves. Even if it means having entitled, privileged little sh*ts like you going around spreading their hatred, intolerance and bigotry… while unironically bitching and moaning about how gays are being killed, yet conveniently failing to mention WHERE they get SYSTEMATICALLY killed. You wouldn’t DARE speaking up in an islamic country, where flinging f*ggots of the roof (and then hitting them with stones, of course) is rather popular pasttime.

      I have zero respect for hypocrites, bigots and cowards like you.

  8. You were sent glitter? And you’re claiming domestic terrorism? What kind of snowflakes are you? Lunatics!

  9. How are you people not entirely embarrassed for yourselves.

    This? This is pathetic, with a capital LOL.

    Anyway, congrats on one of the most egregious displays of utter weakness I’ve seen in a very, VERY long time. Y’all won.

  10. So when people conquered entire countries in the past, did they not oppress the majority of people to achieve it?

  11. If a gay pride organization had been sent an American Flag or glitter, or anything of that nature, it would be investigated as a hate crime. So why is glitter being sent to a straight pride group any different? It’s still a hate crime, per the definition outlined buy the government.

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